Here goes! I am going to try and make things happen differently now. I am getting off this crazy roller coaster. This morning I wanted to kill people. Now I feel sort of back together. Now I need to figure out how to keep me moving forward!
everything hurts!
Money hurts. Knee hurts. Haircut too short and dykey hurts. Shit! Work feels outa control. I did go for a 30 minute walk but now me. Knee is screaming. SUCKS!!!
Day 94/ 154.8
Ok, I have felt a bit scattered the past few days. The arthritis in my back and neck seems to have flaired up. My knee, which I think I have torn a ligament, has quieted a bit because I haven’t been working out. But not working out impacts my psyche.
I want to feel better! Funny thing, it is all up to me! I think I am going to take 30 minutes out of my work day for a walk today. That little act will be like a tiny manifesto to my soul “I AM WORTH IT” I will check in later!
Day 96: 156.2
OK, so I wish that I was all together but it looks like that is going to have to happen on it’s on time. Just when I think that everything should let up, it gets more complicated.
Day 100: Get myself together!
This is it! I have been meesing around the last 5 days but I got a clean 100 to go before I am launchd into a new decade! What do I want to make sure is done??
Being kind to myself…
Sometimes we are just to hard on ourselves. I think as a general rule, we are programmed by society to be down on ourselves. This has gotta change. I am going to embrace ALL of my ups and downs. This is a gift I give myself. Plus, this gift will have a positive impact on the world around me.
Day 101: On a couple’s retreat
What a joy to take a moment to relax and enjoy some time away from out lives and our children. I am feeling the qualities of slowing down and taking some time for myself and sharing time with my partner. More later!
Day 102 Spa Day
My sister is here. I think she saves me! More later.
Trying too hard
Sometimes I wonder if I might be trying to hard to make everything perfect. I really would not like to change how I do business in a major way, but I would like to calm down and stop stressing out so much. I think that my children worry about me and how I will respond to challenges and bad stuff that happens to me.So, what if part of my ramp up to 40, I took on my over the top intensity that mostly is pooped out onto my family. Friends and people at my work get the best of me. Shouldn’t my family get their fair share of the best of me?